As a medical student, the pressure to be perfect is stifling. In fact, med culture is truly one of the most toxic places to live and work. Things are like this and have always been like this. But that does not always have to be the case.
I have been thinking deeply about how to share my experiences. I am certainly not the only one who deals with trials and tribulations. I am also not the only person that struggles with feelings of inadequacy and how to study. These imperfections are what bring us together as people. Like me, there are many people out there who struggle to put their most authentic selves out there. Therefore, I shall set myself free of judgement and fear and just put it out there.
This is me. I struggle to keep up with work, I really do not know as much as I should at this stage of my life. Sometimes I hate medicine and all the stress it brings in me. I hate the application process to medical school and then residency. It brings out some of the worst, most disingenuous character traits in people. From what I hear, things do not get better. Academia is mostly a man-eat-man world where people fight petty battles for superiority.
But hell I am here. Against every reason, I am studying medicine. Against every obstacle, I have persevered beyond my darkest years. And for that reason I shall keep striving. I know this field needs people like me to create a safe space for my colleagues and those who will come after me. If you were looking for a reason to start, this is it. Take the leap with me, and just begin now.